If You Only Knew lyrics
All words & music by Jean-Paul Vest ©2002 Curlock and Jalaiso Music, BMI. STARTING GUN said Slim to None "I like his chances; let’s have some fun" said None to Slim "you help him to his feet, I’ll knock him down again" "you’re such a gentleman" said Ready to Not "our work here’s done; his timing is shot" said Never to Now "I can’t remember, friend, whose turn is it anyhow?" hey, that starting gun won’t wait for anyone said Bad to Worse "I’ve got a c-note says I get to him first" said Maybe to Might "I’ll come up from behind him, you stay down out of sight" all he ever wanted all he ever dreamed was always so much closer than it seemed said Age through Time "just hold your horses, boys, this one’s mine" I'M SORRY NOW when I look back it’s as plain as my face what went down there was a shame and a disgrace just when you needed a friend that’s when I let you down I know I hurt you then and I’m sorry now waylaid you were bruised and betrayed it was ugly and we both know the part I played I had it all justified figured out ahead of time I could have stopped it all and I never tried when all I needed was right there for the asking sure, I believed in friendship and love everlasting but when it counted it’s plain to see that’s not who I’ve been at all all for nothing were my plans and concerns all that happened was you helped me out and you got burned I know I let you down I’ll make it up to you somehow I know I hurt you then and I’m sorry now SECOND PLACE WALTZ life would have been Paradise pink champagne on ice if I only had listened everything fine would have been mine in the sunshine if I’d taken my time it’s all over now for me, anyhow I should have been there but I’m here instead going out of my head planets realigned spelled out big billboard signs and I wasn’t paying attention the key to my grand plans lands right in my hands and I didn’t realize I guess maybe I’ll spend the next twenty years or so wondering what I was thinking then if I have any time left over I’ll spend it just kicking myself ALL FOR NOTHING tell me how it happened that you end in disgrace is it true what they said? it was rumored there was more than egg upon your face they threw you some big breaks sent you out to face the heavyweights but you let it go to waste wish I knew what made you say it’s all for nothing it was always all for nothing you can scream you can shout you can stomp all about try to worm your way out act like you’re the beneficiary of the doubt you can cry if you choose when they tell their lies about you on the news but it seemed like you could not lose wish I knew what made you say it’s all for nothing it was always all for nothing CLOSING TIME AT THE FAIR closing time at the fair send away the circus say goodbye to all the clowns and dancing bears let the tents be folded up and packed away somewhere it’s closing time at the fair now you’re standing yelling at me in your underwear shake your toothbrush at me but we both know you don’t really care, and it’s closing time at the fair no more fireworks exploding in the autumn air no more spinning ‘round in arguments that don’t go anywhere yes, it’s closing time at the fair no more waiting by the trailers for a kiss to steal no more lying in the grass behind the Ferris wheel no more crooked games to run no more shiny junk to sell no more fighting over who will get to keep the carousel it’s closing time at the fair WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME SAY? I’ve been alone for a day or two haven’t heard my own voice for a while speaking to the clerk at the store I can barely choke the words out guess I hardly notice how the force of habit pins me down I get tired and I don’t pretend to fight it what would you have me say? who’d ever hear it? I’m close enough to the truth to know I’m nowhere near it furniture fades in and out as the sun goes up and over around a world collapsed into the couple of rooms out here where I’ve been living playing these old borrowed records listening without hearing so full of emptiness I’m almost disappearing stretched out in the back of a taxi I see where all of this is going we’re speeding, but I’m in no hurry to see how far I’ve come undone what used to be familiar isn’t real to me anymore I can only look from here, now and the old confusions aren’t gone but they’ve faded into the background	GUARDRAIL didn’t mean to cut you off didn’t mean to lock you out didn’t mean to make you sweat or maybe part of me did felt my conscience going limp my expression going dead felt a hard, cold thought forming inside of my head something’s only balanced something’s only right when I’m a little bit upset when I’m a little bit uptight shut your door behind you walked around the car just for that one instant moved a little too far knew I’d lost the connection it was me alone again just beyond your circle of light on the outside looking in my wheels don’t hold the road too well every time I hit that place I slide a little too close to the guardrail then remember where I’m going one day I will be dead so I find the blind spot and lock in and drive all the fear from my head because I don’t need to know how fragile don’t need to know how long or what might be the worst because always something comes along more than I could imagine and I don’t want you to see me worn out and pushed around by things that are not yet real in the dark room for a moment I see all of your ages old woman and teenager as I draw you in to me I WENT AWAY I went away a while a couple of years made some changes seen some things I had never seen been as happy as I’ve ever I speak in open spaces you don’t understand this language you talk in poetry but can’t say a thing to me if I’ve come further than from just point A to B then just by standing still you moved away from me packed up the Plymouth and just headed south water flowing to the river’s mouth worked in a factory it was good for me had to focus on the task at hand scrape out a living in an unforgiving land did my thinking on the morning drive through the cottonwoods an early mist would rise floated on my back nameless and unattached let a year flow through me do what it wanted to me TURN THE CORNER can’t seem to turn the corner discern any order when the day is done that tells how to face the next one get on with the business of living count the holes plug the leaks add one and carry three trade the hours for the wages trade the wages for a month’s worth of telephone calls groceries and gasoline my dreams are all worn smooth dog-eared from over-use I try not to think about where I’d be if I never met you nothing’s more than it seems no extraordinary meanings these ends won’t meet if we don’t make them moving through days like sand they wear the features off the soul of a man you spend a life time to keep the floods at bay when you know they’ll take you anyway can’t seem to turn the corner every year another ornament upon the tree another shiny, hollow victory THIS HERE CHANGES EVERYTHING this here changes everything someone upstairs must be listening I’ve been praying for an angel to come walking through my door and the moment I laid eyes on her I knew I won’t be waiting any more this time tomorrow night won’t be maybe, won’t be might she’ll be mine for sure and certain no more wishing, no more hurting this here changes everything someone upstairs must be listening she’s the one I dream about she’s the one I know was meant to be my only one I was meant to never let her go SOONER giving your reasons to me for leaving but I only need just one and the sooner the better so good at nailing it down you’ve already covered this ground just go and the sooner the better why go on explaining this away? what are you expecting to gain? am I supposed to talk you out of it? over, it’s over and done I don’t need your justifications now because they don’t matter it might be for lack of patience or for lack of communications now it’s for sooner for better clear you’ve got to get clear of all the entanglements here well I say the sooner the better do you need to get on with your life then go I’ll be down a while but not forever WINTER winter’s too warm this year flowers are blooming it’ll freeze I know it will they’ll be ruined I know it’s not your fault just your doing got a mind like a bicycle wheel that needs trueing curse my name say I’m just the same say I… low clouds moving fast wrong direction, seems to me long drive, home at last you don’t want to be All words & music by Jean-Paul Vest ©2002 Curlock and Jalaiso Music, BMI.